...let’s talk about me.
Last night Stephen Colbert talked about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants (OK, so that's not saying much). The point is, I found it hilarious.
I may be somewhat narcissistic but I can say for sure that I don’t have narcissistic personality disorder. Although I have wished for it. Life would be so much simpler if I never empathized with anyone.
After Colbert and before I fell asleep, I read the story in John 4 about Jesus and the Samaritan Woman. Now here's a woman I can relate to. Not on every level, mind you (knock on wood). But in some ways she reminds me of me. I guess that's why I like her so much.
So, Jesus is traveling around town; he's tired and thirsty. He stops at a well and asks the woman who "happens" to be standing there to get him a drink. He spends some of his precious time on Earth talking with her. We get only so many pages in the Bible to hear about Jesus’ life and they spend almost a whole page on this chick.
She thinks the fact that he’s speaking with her is pretty amazing. First of all she’s a woman, secondly a Samaritan (Jews didn't associate with Samaritans), and third, she’s had five husbands. To top it off, she was living with a sixth man when Jesus stopped by looking for a drink.
She doesn't even know about the being recorded for posterity part yet.
Jesus tells her about “living water” and salvation. She says, “Sir, I can see that you are a prophet.” John 4:19. “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” John 4:25.
Jesus looks at her, with what I imagine to be a tender loving gaze, and declares, “I who speak to you am He.” John 4:26
I think, “Here this woman is...she’s talking to Christ and doesn’t even know it. I wonder how long it took her to get around to fetching him some water.” I smile, shake my head, and go to bed thinking…
That is totally something I would do.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Spring Break Feverish
At this moment my children are probably abandoned on a desolate beach, left without food, potable water, or a means to communicate with their Mother. (They texted me yesterday.) Still, I imagine them surrounded by bandits, enduring unspeakable atrocities, exposed to a plethora of contagious and deadly diseases.
Worse, I'm convinced they haven't applied sunscreen since Saturday when I surreptitiously slathered their faces one last time as I leaned into their father's SUV to kiss them good-bye.
If they do survive, they will almost certainly endure 97th degree sunburns, leading to severe chronic pain and causing each of them, successively, at the tender age of 22, to develop skin cancer just as they initiate brilliant careers and begin producing the grandchildren I have awaited since the moment my eldest child was conceived.
Meanwhile, I'm chilling out after attending the Chris Tomlin concert Sunday night.
Praise the Lord for Chris Tomlin, "You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same. You are amaaazzziiinnngg G-ahhh-dddd. You are amazing God."
Without his music I would really be a basket case.
I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ, who is faithful in all circumstances, bless you and your families today.
xoxox and :) ;)
Cheeky
Worse, I'm convinced they haven't applied sunscreen since Saturday when I surreptitiously slathered their faces one last time as I leaned into their father's SUV to kiss them good-bye.
If they do survive, they will almost certainly endure 97th degree sunburns, leading to severe chronic pain and causing each of them, successively, at the tender age of 22, to develop skin cancer just as they initiate brilliant careers and begin producing the grandchildren I have awaited since the moment my eldest child was conceived.
Meanwhile, I'm chilling out after attending the Chris Tomlin concert Sunday night.
Praise the Lord for Chris Tomlin, "You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same. You are amaaazzziiinnngg G-ahhh-dddd. You are amazing God."
Without his music I would really be a basket case.
I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ, who is faithful in all circumstances, bless you and your families today.
xoxox and :) ;)
Cheeky
Sunday, March 29, 2009
John 14:27
Jesus says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Never believe anything...
until it's officially denied.
"Oh, really?!?! I hadn't heard!!," I wanted to say. A fresh pang. The Midwestern need to reassure, "Yes, I'm the Mother who thinks it's a bad idea," I answered with a pathetically hopeful smile. Lord please tell me I'm not signing away my childrens' lives.
I don't want the Mexican government to collapse. Ever. But if it does, I pray that holds off until, say, mid-April. That would work much better for my children and me.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34, I tell myself. I also tell myself: Breathe.
I also pray for you: for your relatives in Fargo, your homes, your jobs. You and your kids. Your lives in general.
Bless you beautiful ladies and one beautiful gentleman. Thanks for reading. I pray that you have a peace-of-the-Lord filled Saturday.
xoxox,
Cheeky
"Mexican government is not on the verge of collapse, the top US intelligence official said Thursday, seeking to tamp down increasing alarm over the ..."Yesterday when I signed the documents permitting my ex-husband to take the kids out of the country for spring break, the notary witness offered, "Mexico is very scary right now." Noting my trepidation, he then mumbled something conciliatory.
news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090326/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/us_intelligence_blair
"Oh, really?!?! I hadn't heard!!," I wanted to say. A fresh pang. The Midwestern need to reassure, "Yes, I'm the Mother who thinks it's a bad idea," I answered with a pathetically hopeful smile. Lord please tell me I'm not signing away my childrens' lives.
I don't want the Mexican government to collapse. Ever. But if it does, I pray that holds off until, say, mid-April. That would work much better for my children and me.
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." Matthew 6:34, I tell myself. I also tell myself: Breathe.
I also pray for you: for your relatives in Fargo, your homes, your jobs. You and your kids. Your lives in general.
Bless you beautiful ladies and one beautiful gentleman. Thanks for reading. I pray that you have a peace-of-the-Lord filled Saturday.
xoxox,
Cheeky
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Why This Blog?
Once a week, I mentor a group of 5th grade authors. During our first meeting, one girl was completely comfortable explaining she has two homes.
Another other girl skirted the issue, “The phone number at Mom’s is…this is my Dad’s cell…”, instead of coming right out and saying “My parents are divorced. That's why I have 57 different phone numbers I can't keep track of.”
She slouched. She shrank like six inches. She turned sideways and peered up through her bangs. I asked, “Are your parents divorced?” She nodded sheepishly.
I had never before met this girl. We were sitting in an antiseptic public school room. More than anything at that moment I wanted to wrap her in my arms and say that everything would be OK, that she was loved, that she was beautiful and intelligent and that she should hold her head high. If I did that it would be my last day in any classroom.
Instead to my surprise, I raised my arms in the air touchdown style and cheered, “So am I!”, as if we had just discovered we shared a birthday or that we both loved eating half-melted chocolate ice cream with a plastic spoon.
I have never been a cheerleader. Mostly because I was too uncoordinated to make the squad. But in that moment, I became one.
I thought about my own children. How did they handle similar situations? Possibly they hung their heads and spoke hesitantly of our divorce. I hope not. Maybe like the first girl, they spoke confidently. Maybe they are totally fine with it. But the thing is, I don’t know for sure.
And then I realized that even when I was asked to explain it, sometimes I was totally fine with it and other times, not so much.
So I started this blog because I wanted a space for divorced Moms to be able to support one another and to discuss the most important thing: Faith in Christ. In the past ten years I've written nothing but thank you notes that weren't prompt enough and one embarrassing Christmas letter. When my writing instructor said “You should start a blog,” I thought, “Yeah, right” but subconsciously began pondering it in a noncommittal, vague sort of way. “Never underestimate the power of community,” she had said.
Thanks, beautiful church ladies, for spending some of your precious time in this community today. I know you don’t have much to spare.
As Paul said in 2 Thessalonians 3:16, “May the Lord…give you peace at all times and in every way.”
Another other girl skirted the issue, “The phone number at Mom’s is…this is my Dad’s cell…”, instead of coming right out and saying “My parents are divorced. That's why I have 57 different phone numbers I can't keep track of.”
She slouched. She shrank like six inches. She turned sideways and peered up through her bangs. I asked, “Are your parents divorced?” She nodded sheepishly.
I had never before met this girl. We were sitting in an antiseptic public school room. More than anything at that moment I wanted to wrap her in my arms and say that everything would be OK, that she was loved, that she was beautiful and intelligent and that she should hold her head high. If I did that it would be my last day in any classroom.
Instead to my surprise, I raised my arms in the air touchdown style and cheered, “So am I!”, as if we had just discovered we shared a birthday or that we both loved eating half-melted chocolate ice cream with a plastic spoon.
I have never been a cheerleader. Mostly because I was too uncoordinated to make the squad. But in that moment, I became one.
I thought about my own children. How did they handle similar situations? Possibly they hung their heads and spoke hesitantly of our divorce. I hope not. Maybe like the first girl, they spoke confidently. Maybe they are totally fine with it. But the thing is, I don’t know for sure.
And then I realized that even when I was asked to explain it, sometimes I was totally fine with it and other times, not so much.
So I started this blog because I wanted a space for divorced Moms to be able to support one another and to discuss the most important thing: Faith in Christ. In the past ten years I've written nothing but thank you notes that weren't prompt enough and one embarrassing Christmas letter. When my writing instructor said “You should start a blog,” I thought, “Yeah, right” but subconsciously began pondering it in a noncommittal, vague sort of way. “Never underestimate the power of community,” she had said.
Thanks, beautiful church ladies, for spending some of your precious time in this community today. I know you don’t have much to spare.
As Paul said in 2 Thessalonians 3:16, “May the Lord…give you peace at all times and in every way.”
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
My Scarlet "D"
On my birthday six years ago, my ex-husband moved out of the home we were supposed to share happily-ever-after. It was the worst birthday I’ve ever had. But it wasn’t without its gifts.
For the better part of the past six years, I was encumbered by an ugly, itchy, surely-obvious-to-the-entire-world-even-from-outer-space Scarlet Letter "D." Much like Hester Prynne’s Scarlet Letter "A," or a hideous version of Laverne’s "L" from the Laverne & Shirley show.
Do you ever feel like you’re wearing a Scarlet Letter "D?" Do you think that when Paul wrote, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28), he meant “except for divorce?”
As we journey toward healing from divorce, our perspectives evolve. From where I’m standing, at least most days, I can see the gifts associated with my Scarlet "D." Navigating the difficulties of divorce is our daily reality. Equally ours are the blessings we find along the way.
In Luke 18:14, Jesus says: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Divorce is humbling, without a doubt. But that, in the end, turns out to be a gift.
May you treasure the gifts God has in store for you today. Keep smiling. The Lord is with you.
For the better part of the past six years, I was encumbered by an ugly, itchy, surely-obvious-to-the-entire-world-even-from-outer-space Scarlet Letter "D." Much like Hester Prynne’s Scarlet Letter "A," or a hideous version of Laverne’s "L" from the Laverne & Shirley show.
Do you ever feel like you’re wearing a Scarlet Letter "D?" Do you think that when Paul wrote, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28), he meant “except for divorce?”
As we journey toward healing from divorce, our perspectives evolve. From where I’m standing, at least most days, I can see the gifts associated with my Scarlet "D." Navigating the difficulties of divorce is our daily reality. Equally ours are the blessings we find along the way.
In Luke 18:14, Jesus says: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Divorce is humbling, without a doubt. But that, in the end, turns out to be a gift.
May you treasure the gifts God has in store for you today. Keep smiling. The Lord is with you.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Crazy Straw Kind of Day
Everyday, when I stumble in my faith, I think of the apostle Peter. The “Rock” of the church who walked with Jesus, who possessed incredible faith, yet did as Jesus predicted, “before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” Matthew 26:34.He had the power to speak so eloquently that he converted three thousand people one day. Sometimes, like us, (I’m including you with me here, hope you don't mind) he spoke before thinking.
Peter, the man who “walked on the water” (!) before sinking because he was afraid. Jesus reached out his hand and pulled him to safety. “You of little faith,” Jesus said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31.
Sometimes it’s hard to see Jesus’ hand at work in our lives. We doubt, we sin, we fear, we fail. Then we get down on our knees and look up. And Jesus is always there. He will not let us drown. (Unless, of course, we're literally drowning. In which case we probably wouldn't be on our knees.)
We may feel completely under water (in more ways than one), stranded with nothing but a kids’ curly crazy straw in our mouths. We stretch to stick the straw out of the water. We get just enough air between waves to survive. But we survive. And we grow. And eventually we thrive again.
If you are having a crazy straw kind of day, remember, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
May the Lord bless your day. If you stumble, picture Peter sinking into the water, smile, know that you are loved, and keep walking toward Jesus.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Zephaniah 3:17
"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Why “Church Ladies?”
Some of my friends have suggested “Church Ladies” is a bit old sounding. But I love the image it conveys. For me a “Church Lady” is someone loves the church and everybody in it. She’s so happy to see you she can barely contain herself. She’s old enough not to care about her age, wise enough to be kind, humble enough to be gracious, experienced enough to be compassionate.
The term also reminds me of Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady” and that makes me smile. I think there’s a little bit of her in all of us. We all have moments when we want to purse our lips and say, “Well, isn't that special?!,” don't we?
The Church Lady I aspire to be has eyes that glow with love, a smile that welcomes, a spirit that calms you down. Her very presence lets you know that things are going to be OK. It’s OK if you’re late for church. Your baby puked all over you on the way out the door. Jesus understands. He’s just glad you’re there.
You will encounter "church ladies" (I will not bother to capitalize for them) that seem to look down their nose at you. That’s just fine because they look down on everybody. In those cases, it helps to think, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23.
When you encounter a smiling, loving, accepting church lady, you’ve seen a bit of the Lord. In that case, give thanks and remember Jesus’ words:
xoxoxox, Cheeky
The term also reminds me of Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady” and that makes me smile. I think there’s a little bit of her in all of us. We all have moments when we want to purse our lips and say, “Well, isn't that special?!,” don't we?
The Church Lady I aspire to be has eyes that glow with love, a smile that welcomes, a spirit that calms you down. Her very presence lets you know that things are going to be OK. It’s OK if you’re late for church. Your baby puked all over you on the way out the door. Jesus understands. He’s just glad you’re there.
You will encounter "church ladies" (I will not bother to capitalize for them) that seem to look down their nose at you. That’s just fine because they look down on everybody. In those cases, it helps to think, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23.
When you encounter a smiling, loving, accepting church lady, you’ve seen a bit of the Lord. In that case, give thanks and remember Jesus’ words:
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:14May you and yours encounter the best kind of Church Lady love this day.
xoxoxox, Cheeky
Friday, March 13, 2009
First Entry
Today I invite you to share in the journey of a divorced Mom with an abiding but imperfect faith in Christ who is sometimes a smart-aleck but who always hopes for the best.
For all you formerly married Moms whose lives have been, shall we say, "realigned" by divorce, there are two things I know:
For now I’ll leave you with this:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Thanks for visiting. I would love to hear from you. May God bless and keep you in His loving, able arms.
For all you formerly married Moms whose lives have been, shall we say, "realigned" by divorce, there are two things I know:
- God loves you.
- There is a more wonderful, beautiful, sometimes-hard-to-believe-how-good-you’ve-got-it-despite-everything-you’ve-been-through life ahead of you. It is uniquely yours and yours for the taking.
- Also, I know a third thing: I'm partial to dashes.
For now I’ll leave you with this:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Thanks for visiting. I would love to hear from you. May God bless and keep you in His loving, able arms.
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