I was washing dishes, enjoying the happy sounds of my two children puttering about, my winter-worn hands sporting yellow dishwashing gloves. Engaged in the everyday life of your average liberal-evangelical-house-divorcee, I was contentedly bumbling along in my regular-old thoroughly-heterosexual-female way.
This unexpected news filled me with inexplicable hope, anticipation, and a kind of joy. It felt like the beginning of a new adventure.
As living proof that heterosexuals don't have the whole marriage thing figured out I have hope that perhaps homosexuals will fare better. I don't believe marriage is for everyone; I can't recommend it for every soul on the planet. But I wholeheartedly recommend the gay people I know.
I wish for them what I wish for all my friends: love, peace, the joy that comes from knowing you are loved (unfailingly by God, preferably also by some humans). A few really great pairs of shoes, laughter every day, a roof over their head, and some darn good chocolate.
When gay marriage hit the coasts, the issue briefly came up during one of my Bible study classes. It was an uncomfortable, unedifying discussion (soliloquy). I heard snippets about the legal wrangling over gay marriage on the news and NPR. This impacted my life for a total of 2.79 seconds.
But when the issue landed in Iowa I was motivated to do a little research. This could affect some people I know and love.
I began with the Old Testament. I didn't even have to open the book; I know there were all kinds of crazy things happening in those marriages. I thought of King David and Bathsheba, Abraham and Hagar. Clearly the Old Testament isn’t going to clear up issues surrounding gay marriage in the 21st Century. At least not for me.
I turned to my favorite book in the world (truly): the New Testament. I wondered, what did Jesus say on this topic?
Some Pharisees came to him [Jesus] to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"That didn’t help much either. So I consulted the “Focus on the Family” website. I found an article by Dr. James C. Dobson entitled “Eleven Arguments Against Same-Sex Marriage” (The full article has since been removed from Focus's web site. The condensed version I linked to above is all that is currently available.) (Probably because it was really, truly THAT BAD.)
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
Matthew 19:3-12 (New International Version), http://www.biblegateway.com
Reading Dobson's rambling article jazzed me up like a week's worth of Starbucks. And not in a good way.
Now I’m just frightened. Not of gay marriage. Of Dr. Dobson.
Ladies and gentlemen, what do you think of all this?
Today I pray for wisdom and guidance, for patience and understanding, for tolerance, for strength, for discernment....and even though you may think I'm a heathen for disagreeing with Dr. Dobson, I pray all these things for you as well. May the Lord bless your day.
And now I've gotta go do some dishes. This time maybe I'll listen to my iPod instead of NPR.
xoxoxo,
Cheeky
15 comments:
I like Dobson on some things but many of his arguments on this one are faulty. I mean, the most obvious is #7 on SocSec. We've already messed that one up w/o legalizing gay marriage! And adoption becoming obsolete -- stupid. Public schools embracing it -- no way. Def get out the ipod -- I agree!! I guess to me, the bottom line is that it's not for us to judge. A
Confusing, isn't it? Even for those of use who are both Iowans and gay --- and Christian to boot. Dr. Dobson undercuts the effectiveness of his points by lying (there's plenty of room for debate about gay marriage among civilized people without resorting to lies) and vast overstatement --- reinforcing or fostering the impression among some that all Christians are nut cases. On the other hand, those like me who do like the Iowa Supreme Court decision make as much of a mistake when we dismiss those who disagree with us as Christian nut-cases (some are, of course, but most aren't). Good post!
Thanks A and Frank,
I love hearing your perspectives. Thanks for commenting. Please return another day!
xo,
Cheeky
Whoa, this is a touchy topic. Are we talking about abortion tomorrow? Dr.James Dobson has been loosing many people's respect in the last few years. (at least that is true for me- and I use to listen to his radio program often) His hard hitting (without love)comments and lack of logic (sometimes)facts are so unappealing. It just seem so unJesuslike. Dobson is not respectful. I think Jesus would go about this so differently. Marriage was designed for a man and a women as the scripture you quoted stated... what do we do with that? But it always comes down to, for me, thinking "I'm glad I am not the judge". And a lot of the time I have to remember and remind myself "I'm NOT the judge!".
Tee! Now THAT would be interesting :).
Do you know of any leaders in the Christian faith with as much visibility as Dr. Dobson we could turn to for perspective on gay marriage?
Thanks, hope. You are a beautiful church lady!
xo,
Cheeky
Here's what Rick Warren says (Purpose Driven Life author and Pastor):http://www.cbn.com/CBNnews/514719.aspx
Rick Warren in October on Prop 8: "This is not even just a Christian issue. It’s a humanitarian and human issue.”
January 7, 2009
Some of you may have seen portions of the following videos but The Brody File has gone through them and found them to be pretty interesting.
Pastor Rick Warren talks to Church members about his support for Proposition 8 in a video address on the church website. Near the end he says the following:
“There are about 2% of Americans who are homosexual or gay and lesbian people. We should not let 2% of the population change the definition of marriage.”
“This is not even just a Christian issue. It’s a humanitarian and human issue.”
To watch the video, you need to click on the fourth video down labeled “Prop 8”. The link is here.
In a separate video that is posted on that same page dated December 22nd, Pastor Warren has the following to say about the Inauguration controversy:
“I’m not opposed to gays having their partnerships. I’m opposed to gays using the term marriage for their relationship.” (3:47 in)
“While I believe the gay view of sexuality is contrary to God’s word, I do believe that God gives us free choice and he gives us a choice to obey his word or to disobey it.” (4:55 in)
“Some people feel today that if you disagree with them then that’s hate speech. Either if you disagree with them you either hate them or you’re afraid of them. I’m neither afraid of gays nor do I hate gays. In fact I love gays but I do disagree with some of their beliefs.” (7:20 in)
Here's what Don Miller says (author of Blue Like Jazz...also who campaigned for President Obama, and will be on a task force for the White House Office of Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships):
In terms of gay marriage, I see it as a constitutional issue. Until we become a theocracy, I think that judges should look at it from a constitutional issue. Whether I think homosexuality’s wrong, personally? America is not God’s country. It’s not considered a Christian nation anymore. You have to look at everybody, not just Christians and say, what are the rights of these people based on this constitution. That’s another difficult issue as well. I get a bit frustrated when the evangelical position is reduced to two issues. So many other issues are not a concern to us. What happened was, in my opinion, the Christian positions has been reduced in order to manipulate us. If we give them these two issues, we can do whatever we want. (said during the election).
http://www.provocativechurch.com/2008/08/donald-miller-prays-at-dnc.html
Dear Hope,
Thank you so much! I'll be watching those videos. Based on Warren's words,
“This is not even just a Christian issue. It’s a humanitarian and human issue.”, you would think he's saying one thing, but read further and it sounds like another.
I looked on the UCC (United Church of Christ) web site today. They have another perspective. I'll post that later too. Gotta give the little ones some attention now.
xoxoxo,
S
OK, kiddos are in bed. Here's a link to an article about the United Church of Christ's stand + the first part of the text.
http://www.speroforum.com/a/18721/United-Church-Of-Christ-hails-Iowa-gay-marriage
Guess you'll have to cut and paste that if you want to read the whole article. Here's the intro section:
United Church of Christ hails Iowa gay marriage
Saturday, April 04, 2009
By Spero News
United Church of Christ leaders are hailing a unanimous decision by the Iowa Supreme Court to reject the state's ban on same-gender marriage as unconstitutional. Iowa now joins Massachusetts and Connecticut in becoming the third state to allow same-sex couples to marry.
"Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are three states whose cultures were shaped profoundly by the Congregational experience," said the Rev. John H. Thomas, UCC general minister and president. I can't help but believe and affirm that there is a connection at work here."
The United Church of Christ has 179 local churches in Iowa, and Grinnell College - one of state's most prominent liberal arts schools - is historically related to the denomination.
"Words can hardly express how delighted and relieved I am for same sex couples in Iowa - more than a few of whom are my friends - for whom the Iowa Supreme Court's ruling is a gift," said the Rev. Rich Pleva, UCC Iowa Conference Minister. "I'm also aware that the people and churches of the Iowa Conference are not of one mind on this issue. This is a time to underscore and affirm our covenant to being of one heart and one body, even at times when we may not agree."
The Rev. Mike Schuenemeyer, the UCC's minister for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender concerns, said the ruling has "advanced justice and equality for all Iowans and set an example for the country."
Wow! You really did your research on that one! Very interesting and enlightening. I think I got more out of the respondents than the large article. I have to say I was getting really scared as I read the article enclosed. I had never heard of the author before. But I did find his facts to be very loose and not very substantiated. Knowing quite a few gay men, almost all who are in long relationships (We discuss their lives and love ones just as they will ask after my family.) I thought his numbers of up to 1,000 partners to be horribly skewed and was horrified for my friends who are gay. I realized I am in a cocoon; That they must keep themselves steeled against this kind of onslaught at all times because they never know from where or from whom it will come, because it's going to come. That's where my cocoon comes in, my being unaware. I think getting hit with that article without my expecting it lead to a new insight for me!
Thanks for your comments. You make excellent points. I can't imagine what it would be like for a homosexual Christian to read that. I'm glad Frank shared his perspective.
I went to the Focus on the Family site with an open mind, knowing they'd be coming from a conservative perspective, but man, that wasn't conservative -- it was crazy!!
Anyone else?
There was an informed, respectful discussion of gay marriage on MPR's mid-morning program today. Here's the URL:
http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/04/10/midmorning1/
For Colbert fans: an interview with Doug Kmiec.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/224791/april-16-2009/douglas-kmiec
Don't know why the heck the Colbert link above doesn't work. Douglas Kmiec had some very good arguments for separating church and state on this issue. Colbert was in prime form.
I was once hired to edit captions for a photography exhibition, in which children of adoptive parents and children awaiting adoption shared their thoughts about adoption. In the interview transcripts, one teenager was asked the question about whether or not he'd be willing to be adopted by gay parents, and he said, "I just want to be loved. I just want to have a family. I don't care if they're gay, or purple, or anything. None of that matters more than having parents who love me."
Beautiful. Thank you.
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