For the Love of Annie

When I married at age 27, I chose a soiled “sample” wedding dress that brought proud tears to my mother’s frisky blue eyes. Regrettably, it had to be dry cleaned before the wedding.

When the dry cleaner tossed my clean-ish but not-yet-worn wedding dress over the counter at me a few weeks before the Big Day, she offered, "Some of the beads fell off. We put them in a separate bag for you.” Her casual observation sent this tightly wound bride into a state of near hysteria.*

The "some beads" were tiny oblong pearls originally arranged in symmetrical rows around the V-neck of an otherwise unembellished dress.

My girlfriend Annie was the one who sewed the beads back on in expert order.

This is not the only time she has saved my arse.

Today, in honor of all who have Mothered Others, I want to tell you a little about Annie.

I met Annie 25 years ago when we were freshmen in college.** She was an intelligent, witty, honest young lady with her whole life ahead of her and a beautiful exterior to boot. She excelled academically while thoughtfully pursuing a boisterous social life.

Annie is still all these things. Plus, she’s brave, Godly, and compassionate.

She did a few key things before I did like becoming a Christian, a Wife, and a Mother. More than once, I have called her to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me about thus-and-so?” as if it’s her responsibility to clue me in to any/all possibilities/consequences in these areas.

The night before my wedding, Annie stayed with me in the bridal suite. She said, “Awwhh” when I showed her the engraving my husband had chosen for my wedding band (“As You Wish,” from the Princess Bride). She was a happy, tearful bridesmaid for me just as I had been for her.

She burst out laughing and then smiled knowingly when pregnant with my first child I declared, “I don’t know when I’m going to have time for this baby.” She was already a Mom; I was an oblivious pre-parent.

When she visited shortly after each of our babies were born, she brought casseroles.

Annie is one of the few people who know virtually everything that occurred during the four-year crisis that led to the end of my 10-year marriage. To her I can say anything (and have) (not always with much grace).

Because of Annie’s integrity, her deep commitment to marriage, and her Christian faith, hers was one of the few voices that broke through the din during my desperate, fruitless attempt to hold our marriage together.

When Annie echoed the experts, "Maybe you really should consider a divorce,” I heard her. For that act alone I am eternally indebted.

Annie stood by me and supported me every step of the way through the mess of divorce and as I stepped with trepidation into the world of single parenthood.

For more than half my life, Annie has befriended, inspired, delighted, challenged, and spoken the truth to me. She makes my (our) world a better place simply by being her beautiful, authentic self.

God willing Annie and I will be there for each other as Grandmothers and beyond.

The Bible verse that most reminds me of Annie is Genesis 16:13. In this verse, Hagar calls God “El Roi,” meaning “the One who sees me.” It is my all-time favorite name for God. El Roi reminds me of Annie because she has given me the best gift one person can give another: She Sees Me.

Today please share a few words about someone who sees you. I’d love to hear about them.

oxooxo, Annie, and the rest of you beautiful Church Ladies and Gentlemen. You are in my grateful prayers, Cheeky

NOTES:
*“Near” is as close as this Minnesotan gets to full-blown hysteria.
**Annie is reading this for the first time along w/the rest of you. I’m just guessing here, but think she would probably want me to say that SHE started college REALLY young :)